"All the gold and the guns and the girls
(couldn’t get you off)
All the boys, all the choices in the world"
Gold, Guns, Girls - Metric
One month in and the changes are noticeable. I am already seeing, experiencing, and internalizing things differently, as if another human being has taken over my mind. Or was this human always inside there?
Trippy. But an avalanche of “learning opportunities” have bombarded me in the short weeks of 2013. And each day brings a new understanding, a new lesson, another life changing event. How much can a person change in one month? It’s immeasurable really.
I know I sound new-agey, but it’s true. Open yourself up and embark on a learning adventure – and you will change.
During January I immersed myself in yoga, meditation, and the words of an astrologer. I opened myself up to the unknown, forgave myself for the past, and observed instead of controlled situations. It might not sound like much, but for an anxious guilt-ridden control freak like myself – it was a huge accomplishment. And as I am learning through this process, it requires a lot of patience and faith.
So, what have I learned?
Observe Instead of React
There’s a reason why observation is the first step in the scientific method. It’s a powerful tool. Observe your emotional states. Let’s say you wake up feeling lonely. Instead of acting on the feeling of loneliness – you just observe it. You’re like, “Oh, look. I feel lonely. That sucks.” And do nothing. You don’t call an ex you know isn’t right for you, you don’t go have a whiskey drink – you merely accept, “Hey I’m human. I’m lonely. This will pass.” Sit with it, and it will pass. Feelings are only temporary.
Eliminate the Void
You've heard the old pizza slogan "avoid the Noid," well that's what ran through my head during this lesson, although it was actually "avoid filling the void" (same difference to this 80’s kid). Too often people try to fill their inner void. You feel empty – lonely, angry, sad, lost; so you fill up with things – food, booze, partners, shoes. And when those things are gone, the void is back, and the cycle begins again. And again, and again, and again.... So the right thing to do is to eliminate the void, so there is no longer a void to fill. You eliminate the void by loving yourself so completely that you are always whole. Simple. No Noid required.
Let Go of Attachment
Attachment requires one to be obsessed with possessing an outside object in order to be happy. I do this with lipstick, it's really weird. But you got to stop looking for outside sources to make yourself feel better. Happiness does not come from external sources, true happiness comes from within. Hippy talk I know. But, to quote Metric, all the gold and the guns and the girls is never gonna be enough. You have to be.
Or you can go out and get drunk, have a one night stand or hook up with an ex. Because that always works out great.
January in a nutshell:
- 1Jan13: “Be True to Yourself” meditation lecture at the Mahakankala Buddhist Center (MBC)
- 6Jan13: Started “Letting Go of Bad Habits” 6 week meditation series at MBC and “40 Day Yoga Challenge” at Power of Your OM (POYO)
- 12Jan13: Met with renown psychic Beth McDonald for a natal, transit, and year astrological chart reading
- 20Jan13: Plateau-ed (aka "got over it!") and ate a shit ton of chocolate chip cookies to make myself feel better (attachment much?)
- 26Jan13: “Breaking Free from Attachment” meditation day retreat at MBC and “Yoga’licious” Girls Night Out at POYO